I’ve been a little silent. And it took a complete stranger that I met on the interweb who I may or may not be getting bff necklaces with, to give me the giant push I needed to test the waters.
Isn’t it weird the way that happens?
I’ve been out here for two years and met some amazing women, but here’s the thing about me. I’m a TERRIBLE friend. Quite possibly the worst. No one will ever wax poetic about all the live long years we’ve been friends and all we’ve been through because that is apparently not my strong suit.
Here’s how it usually goes. We’ll see each other at soccer practice (because that is literally all I do outside of work, apparently), and 87 practices later, one of us will approach the other, and it’s like mad crazy friend love. We’re inseparable. We’ll make everyone else feel like they’re invisible. We’ll finally get together outside of the world of soccer and drink far too much wine and do a lot of oversharing. And then we’ll make more plans, and then….
…I’ll fade to black. It’s what I do. I don’t know what it is, and I realize that it’s quite possibly my worst trait, but it’s how I roll. And I am here to tell you that the saying about acknowledging your faults as being half the battle? It’s a total crock. I’ve known this about myself for eons and I haven’t changed. Not even a little.
Ah. But I digress. The blogging and absence thereof.
I got a job. A semi fancy one with my own office and pads of paper with my name inscribed on them. I’m the first point of contact for a zillion employees and am in HR to boot, and lately it’s been a little (read: a lot) rough, and I guess I felt like my oversharing days were over. Because what if someone saw one of these rambling posts? And that someone showed my boss? And what if she stared deeeeeep into my soul and asked me about the ramifications of said blog? What would I do then? I’m a really terrible liar; I turn an ungodly magenta and start fake coughing and cannot make eye contact to save my life (so at least while we are BFF’s you’ll always know when I’m lying about how your butt looks in your jeans)…and then I cry. It’s my go – to emotion, which may have gotten me out of some minor scrapes when I was young and cute. But nearing 40 and at work? It’s just awkward.
So I stopped blogging and felt like I lost the only outlet I had out here.
I’ve been thinking about it a lot, lately. I’ll have a moment that is so terrible that it begs to be shared, and sharing with my husband works most of the time, but there is nothing like hammering something out in a frenzy on your laptop and sharing it with the universe (and then rethinking it and regretting it).
And then there was my chance instagram message with a total stranger about essential oils (stop rolling your eyes…I’m desperate), that went a little deeper and became the worlds most amazing best friend convo when I was feeling SO out of touch with how to be a friend, and how to frigging SHARE, that finally brought me back to center.
So, if you’re happy to see me here, you have this amazing woman to thank. You should head over to her blog. It’s pretty fantastic. And while you’re there, we’ll probably be making plans to build houses next to each other and the like. It could quite possibly be my most perfect friendship, because it’s the internet, and this stuff is forever, right? That’s what my Dad always bemoans whenever I overshare on here. And I’m hoping it’s going to happen a lot more.
Here’s to us…clink.